Little by Little
by doodlelover
Summary: Little by little; he sees. Bit by bit; he learns. And as time passes...he regrets. Short fic that delves further into the mind of Naruto as he grows and studies Sasuke. Dedicated to Heaven Cobra


**This is for you HC! For being an awesome beta and an even greater person ;) And...uh, surprise? SURPRISE! For nothing in particular XD**

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_**Little by Little**_

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**Age Eight**

_Sasuke...can you hear me...?_

_I've tried...I've tried so hard, but always, always, you're out of my reach._

_What are these feelings of mine? And why do I have them...?_

_Why is it so important to catch up to you...?_

_These hands...I can't seem to feel them anymore._

_The kunai I hold...they're so sharp, and so unwilling to go where I want them to._

_I'm trying so hard...just to reach you._

_But I vow, I _will_ catch up to you._

**Age Nine**

_You...I don't like the way yours eyes shine with so much sadness._

_You seem different. Why are you different?_

_You face...it looks so out of place with all of the smiling, cheerfulness around us._

_But we've always stuck out, haven't we, Sasuke?_

_Except you have always been the one with more happiness than I._

_Why is that?_

_But not now...there is so much more sadness in your eyes now._

_Even more so than mine..._

_I loath to know that someone is in just as much pain as I am._

_What can I do to make it...stop?_

**Age Ten**

_These people, with all of this hate._

_Hate, towards me. They've always looked at me with such coldness in their hearts._

_I wish...for a person, some being, just to look at me with something other than hate._

_I want them to smile and have it reach their eyes as well._

_Sasuke..._

_Even though you've never smiled at me, I can tell the difference._

_Between you and them, it's you that has a warmth to your stare._

_I can tell...that you don't hate me as the others do._

_You're not the same as them._

_You do not hate me._

**Age Eleven**

_I don't know why, but it seems the only way for me to get stronger is by surpassing you._

_You're the strongest one. The one that will make me something if I reach you._

_I know I'll be able to defeat you someday._

_If I just try hard enough...train as much as I can...I'll be able to do it._

_Just you watch Sasuke, one of these days I'll be able to beat you._

_I'm not a failure--a nuisance--like everyone says._

_You'll see Sasuke, I'll beat you!_

_I will!_

**Age Twelve**

_It seems fate isn't on my side. Why they put me in a team with you, I have no idea._

_Do they want to torture me? I guess so._

_This fox...this demon inside of me, they want me to suffer for it._

_For being alive, for existing._

_They hate me for it._

_But..._

_Why has your gaze not changed?_

_You've looked at me the same way for years._

_I see annoyance, anger, bashfulness..._

_Amusement?_

_No, that must have been my imagination. You're not amused by anyone, least of all me._

_But with all of those different emotions flickering in your eyes..._

_I still do not see hate._

_Is there a reason for that? I have no clue. You must not know...what it means to be 'Uzumaki Naruto'._

_You must not know what's inside of me yet._

_That has to be it. If not, then..._

_Why would you risk your life...for me?_

_To be 'Naruto' means...to be a demon._

_I cannot--will not-- forgive you for this Sasuke._

_I will not forgive you for giving your life up for a demon._

_For me._

_But I guess it's safe to call you..._

_...My friend._

**Age Thirteen**

_These wounds...they don't compare to how much your gaze hurts._

_This blood...it does not stain me as much as your words do._

_These feelings...do not compare to how much I want to, but can't voice them aloud._

_Sasuke..._

_You are my friend? Aren't you?_

_You said so yourself._

_Then why? Why do this?_

_You would kill me..._

_...Sasuke...?_

_Your eyes..._

_Still...I do not see what I know should be there._

**Age Fifteen**

_..._

_Your eyes. I see them again. I can finally see them._

_But...there's nothing. Nothing at all._

_Not even hate._

_You look so empty..._

_You're strong. I know that._

_You don't have to prove it to me._

_I've always known._

_You've always been strong._

_You don't have to...you don't have to do this._

_I can't do anything, again._

_This pain. Your words._

_I sill can't seem to reach you._

**Age Sixteen**

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**Age Seventeen**

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**Nineteen**...

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...**Twenty...**

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Days go by, weeks span out, seasons change with the passing years...

Still, a lone figure stands out on the pier of a still lake.

Still he stands there, looking over the vacant waters with an expressionless stare.

His hands clutch something. Something important. Something meaningful.

To others it is nothing.

To him, it is everything he's ever wanted.

A hitai-ate.

But the surface is scratched, ruined.

It's held out above the murky darkness of the lake.

Eyes scan the scathed metal once.

Fingers trace the smooth, metallic surface.

And then it falls.

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**Meh hopes you likes! -love-**


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